Me: “How can I help you today?”
Customer: “I’m looking for a parcel.”
Me: “May I have your tracking number, please?”
Customer: “My what?”
Me: “Your tracking number. All of our parcels have tracking numbers which the sender can give you if you do not have it.”
Customer: “Why don’t you have it?”
Me: “Because I didn’t send you the parcel.”
Customer: “So, who did then?”
Me: “Sir, do you not know who sent you the item?”
Customer: “No, but my neighbor just had something delivered and I want one too. So send me something now!”
(The caller then muffles the phone and I can hear what sounds like sobs.)
Me: “Sir, are you okay?”
Customer: “I’m so lonely and I just wanted to get a present!” *more sobbing*
Customer: “I’m so lonely!”
Me: *speechless*
Customer: “Never mind, I’ll go now…”
Me: “Sir…wait. We do have a parcel for you. I just need to confirm your address to send it to you. It will be there this afternoon!”
(After he gives me his address, I have a quick whip around the call center and we get a card signed by the team, put in a few chocolate bars with other happy bits and pieces, and send it to him. He calls the next day and thanks us all. Now, he rings once a week on average, and we are all happy to chat with him.)
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